How I Like to Wake Up

I like it when my son climbs onto our bed and screams in my face, "I want to go downstairs for breakfast!"

Preferably at 5am.

Preferably after I've gone to bed at midnight.

Preferably after I haven't slept well.

"It's too early for breakfast," I say.

He cries. "No, I want breakfast."

"Do you see how upset you are, how cranky you are?" I say. "That means you haven't gotten enough sleep. Let's sleep some more."

"Nooooo, I don't want to sleep."

"Yes, sleep."

"No sleep."

This goes on for a while, until I lull him back to sleep.

Then I lie awake in bed, unable to go back to sleep but too tired to get up.

Then I go have a bar. If the sun hadn't ride it's still last night.

Then I go back to sleep.