I Didn't Realize How Much I'd be Vomited On

Before I became a parent, I had no idea how much I'd be vomited on, peed on, and, occasionally, pooped on.  

People weren't like, "Hey congratulations on becoming a parent, one day when you're exhausted and just want to take a nap your child is going to vomit in your face."

I knew that kids, like everyone else, vomited, peed, pooped, but I thought at least floors and carpets might receive most of it.

Nope.

Thankfully, the little guy is doing better today.