I Have "Text Neck"

I didn't think I spent that much time looking down at my phone, but according to my neck I absolutely do.

Now my neck is refusing to hold my head up.

"I tried," my neck says. "But you cared more about reading 'Ask Amy' in The Washington Post than your own health. You apparently just had to know what Amy would say to the 'woman who doesn't want to adopt another dog after losing their dog but her husband wants to' so much that you would continue to damage your neck muscles. Good luck, bro."

"I'm sorry, neck," I say. "I'm putting my phone down. I definitely won't read about the man whose ex never wanted children but after they broke up the ex now has children! Nope, not going to do it. I'm just going to stare at this wall instead. Much better."