I ate snails for lunch today. I first tried them five years ago, and I couldn't believe how tasty they were. Typically I'd be turned away from the texture from something like a snail but it's surspringly tender and when cooked with salt and garlic I find them delicious.

Sometimes when I eat dead animals, though, I imagine their relatives coming to hunt me. One day, feeling like someone is watching me, I'll look back over my shoulder, and see cows, chickens, goat, ducks, and snails approaching me. They will corner me, and then start chopping me up, and cook me in a stew. Before I die, I will hear them, "I can't believe how tasty he is.  When cooked with salt and garlic, he is surprisingly tender."