It All Started with Meatballs

Last night I was like, "Hmm, you know what sounds good? Meatballs and gravy and mashed potatoes."

Maybe I was missing Ikea. They do have Ikeas in Spain but the closest one is over an hour away.

So I went with my son to our local butcher Jordi. My son is on a first name basis with the two butchers in town. Neither butchers know my name.  

There were a few people ahead of us who all had big orders. Everyone was doing last minute shopping for their dinner.  

When it was our turn I ordered in my shitty Spanish but we realized that Jordi didn't have beef broth. So after we got the meat we had to go to another store to get broth.

When we got back home, Radford, my wife, said, "Where were you?"  

"There was a long line. I sent a message," I said.

"I didn't get it," she said.

"I sent a message," I said.

"Yeah, I didn't get it."

This went on for a while before I put the groceries in the kitchen. The oven was pre-heating.

Radford fashioned the meatballs while I set the table.

Then the power went off.

We've had major problems with our potencia since we moved into the house two months ago. Our lampista (aka electrician) is trying to get it higher but for now we can only use one appliance at a time. And only the oven was on.

I went to the fuse box and flipped the master switch off and on.

Usually that works. But now, nothing.


I went outside to see if the electricity on the whole street was out.  

Nope, looks okay. The pharmacy light was on. The bar across the street had lights on too.

My son was behind me, standing outside near the open front door.

Our cat Higgy, who had been sleeping all day barely moving, raced out through the open door into the street. A car slammed on their brakes almost hitting Higgy.  

"Higgy!" I yelled. "Stay there," I said to my son.

I ran across the street. Higgy was trying to get under a parked car. "Come here," I hissed at him. As I picked him up he meowed in protest. "You almost died!" I said.

We all went back inside the house.  

"Why did Higgy run away?" my son asked.

"I don't know," I said. "Maybe because we don't have electricity."

Radford called our electricity company, who told us to flip all the switches in the circuit box, not just the master switch. When we tried it the lights came back on.

Okay, good. Now we can cook these meatballs.

A few minutes later, as Radford was going to put the meatballs in the oven, the power went off again.

We all groaned.

We flipped the circuit breakers again and the power came back on.

We turned off all the lights to save energy. Only the oven was on.

Poof. The power went out again.

"Seriously?" Radford said. "Seriously?"

"Unbelievable," I said.

We were hungry and tired. It was the end of a long day and almost my son's bedtime. Our cat Higgy almost died. Did I mention we were hungry?

I don't know what happened but something snapped in all of us. We all just sat on the kitchen floor and began to eat raw meatballs.

We didn't even use plates. We just stuffed our faces with fresh raw meat balls.

Blood dripped off our faces.

"Yummy," my son said. "Yummy."

As we devoured those meatballs, I realized how much time we waste trying to cook meat. From now on we're just going to eat raw meat.

Since last night we haven't even bothered to try to turn the power back on.

We live in the dark and eat raw meat.

That's who we are now.