Why am I so afraid all the time? What did my parents do to me? We were taught not to trust the outside world. We rarely had friends over. Sometimes church friends, that was it. We were in our own little world.
Sometimes I am brave. When I traveled to Europe by myself when I was sixteen. That was brave. I went to college in California across the country from my parents. I suppose that was brave.
Still it's hard to be brave all the time. I just want to crawl into my bed and pull the covers over my head. I want to spend the day in there. I can bring snacks. I can watch a movie. I can write.
What should we do for dinner? my wife says.
I know this great place called Bed, I say. There's great food. We have everything we need under these covers. Appetizers, main course, dessert.
Is that innuendo? she says.
No, I'm serious, I say. I've fully stocked our bed. I have a full pantry, mini fridge, microwave. We got everything. We can stay for weeks. Then we can go back into the world when it's not so scary. Think about it. You know where I'll be.