My Memory Is Not Good

Do you ever send yourself an email, like a reminder or an important note, and two seconds later when your phone dings or you see an icon that you have a new email, you say, "Oooh, a new email, I wonder who that is?"

And then you open the email and remember that this is the email you sent to yourself two seconds ago.

And then you try to cry because your memory is shot.

But no tears come.

You've forgotten how to cry.

You splash water on your face.

Maybe this will help my eyes to remember how to cry.

"Cry," you tell yourself. "Cry, goddamnit."

And then your wife walks in as your frantically splashing water in your face.

"What's going on?" she says.

"Nothing," you say. "Nothing. Nothing. Nothing."

And then the tears come, and you leap for joy.