My Wife Only Listens to Glen Weldon
If I say, "Hey, babe, here's an interesting show that you might like," she says, "Ehh."
If NPR critic Glen Weldon says, "Hey listeners, there's this show that I recommend watching," my wife says, "Ooooh, hey babe, Glen Weldon likes this show and we should totally watch it! Let's watch it right now!"
"It's the same show I recommended last week," I say.
"I don't remember you saying that," she says. "Anyway Glen Weldon says it's 'very fun' and so we absolutely have to watch it."
"Okay," I say. "Do you want popcorn? Is popcorn 'very fun' and does Glen Weldon recommend?"
She stares at me for a moment. Making fun of Glen Weldon is not okay in our household.
"I'm sure Glen Weldon is okay with popcorn," she says.
"Great," I say. "Does Glen Weldon approve of me sitting next to you on the couch?"
"Not with that attitude," she says.
"Okay. Do you want me to get your Glen Weldon lifesize doll to sit next to you?"
"Ha ha. I don't have a Glen Weldon lifesize doll."
There's a knock on the door.
"You do now," I say.
She screams and runs to the door.
I go into my bedroom and wait for further instructions from Glen Weldon via my wife.