My Wife's Purse Was Stolen Yesterday

She was in Barcelona at a Zara Home, which everyone knows is a hotbed of crime and vice.

I've told her to stay away from Zara Home multiple times but due to her dish towel addiction she has refused.

Zara Homes are notoriously violent. Next to waffle robes is where you can buy guns.

Next to scented candles you can smoke meth.

People are robbed there all the time.

"I just wanted some dish towels with crabs on them," she cried when she got home.

I held her.

The dish towels were super cute. But was it worth it?

"Yes, totally," she said. "No question I'd do it again."