Things I Forgot About A Newborn

1. Their skin is so soft.

2. They make noises that sound like a cat.

3. They are so small. I can hold them in one arm.

4. They weigh nothing. Compared to my 3 year old son, they are light as a feather.

5. They are low maintenance. Just put a bag of Doritos in their bassinet and go out for a beer. They'll figure it out.