I'm sitting on a blue couch in a hospital room in Palamos, Spain.

My wife is wearing headphones and a hospital gown and dancing in the room, painted a light blue.

Earlier today her water broke. So we came to the hospital. But so far she's had only minor contractions.

We are trying everything to get this baby out. Well, almost everything.

Pressure points, foot massage, spicy curries, dark chocolate, nipple stimulation.

"Maybe you should try some of these things too," I say to my wife. "This curry is really spicy and my nipples are chafing. But I will take another foot massage."

My wife glares at me.

C'mom, baby, come soon.