We Need To Vacuum the Car

If your partner or spouse ever says, "We need to..." what they mean is, "It would be great if you could do this thing that I could of course do myself but I would much rather you do it, thanks."

I know this because I say it all the time.

"We need to clean out the fridge."

"We need to call the plumber to fix the hot water heater."

"We need to stop walking around the downstairs of the house in our underwear. People can see in the window pretty easily."

"That's just you who does that," my wife says.

"Oh, right," I say. "Well, actually, people seem to enjoy it. They are leaving coins on the windowsill. Maybe I should do it more."

"Sure," she says. "And maybe you could vacuum the car in your underwear."

"Fine," I say. "Fine. I'll do it."